In my last blog post, I talked about the beauty of a rest day, and how amazingly amazing it feels to have one entire day off from obligations/socializing/commitments/housework each week. The irony of that post is that on my last three rest days, I did have to do a teeny little bit of work in the house due to an agreement I made with Hubby that I'm not doing any more house projects this summer, and since he is knee-deep in a bathroom renovation, I agreed to step up with all the day-to-day house stuff. I learned that sometimes, no matter how well I plan, I still have to do a little something on my rest days. And other days, when I don't plan very well at all, I definitely need to do a little something on my rest days.
My first "rest day" that required work felt terrible. It didn't feel like a rest day at all. All I could think about was what I had to do next and how much stuff was left. I had a terrible time staying in the present moment. Not only that, but I had planned to make a couple phone calls on that day, so I had my phone on, and felt like it paralyzed me into being as far from a rest day as possible. I was resentful about the amount of housework I still had to do and overall I just made myself feel miserable. I felt like I couldn't get into a good rest because there was always something to do, whether it was to call my mom back, switch the laundry or get dinner ready. Even at times when I was essentially resting, I was thinking about how little rest I was getting and was ruining even that moment of potential mindfulness and relaxation for myself.
I realized my thoughts really were getting the best of me and I needed to re-frame them into something more realistic, productive and reasonable. I can remember a time when doing dishes and laundry were times when my brain ran wild; I would stew over the smallest things, start imaginary fights in my head or become angry because of my thoughts. I knew that if I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity for not getting an ENTIRE rest day, the things I did have to do would turn into another chance for my brain to run wild. So I decided to reign it in and start using those mundane tasks as moments in mindfulness.
I started with washing something in the sink, feeling the weight of the dish I was washing, the temperature of the water on my hands, noting the citrus-smell of the dish soap, hearing the sound of water running and my dishrag wiping the cup. I congratulated myself for not thinking about anything else, for being able to be entirely mindful in that mundane moment, and I thought to myself "Hell yes, that was peaceful. Why haven't I ever done this before?!" In that moment, I realized that doing the dishes, or folding the laundry, or sweeping the floor, can all be mindful and spiritual experiences. They can calm the mind, allow us to be fully present in the moment, and focus subtly on the love we have in our hearts. The tricky part is giving ourselves permission to find the peace in those moments. When the brain is on autopilot, we are automatically thinking about something that happened earlier or something else to come. Going through life like this causes us to dread things we feel like we have to do, and we wish away the present moment. However, if we make a conscious effort to let all of those thoughts and obligations go, and just focus on what we are doing, one moment at a time, we might find a little reprieve from the mundane of the day-to-day grind.
I took that ability to just let go, and in my next rest day, when I had to do some chores around the house, I tried to let go of any irrational thoughts, impressions about the future, perseverations over the past and just be in the moment while I did those tasks. Now I know as well as anyone that focusing on the present is so difficult to do, especially when we've formed habits like I had before with dishes and laundry, so I'm not going to claim that it rocked my world, or changed my life, or left me completely at peace. But I am going to say that it allowed me to change my perspective, to accept without judgement, to let go and to just be. I most certainly felt more gratitude, more peaceful and more rested than had I just gone through the tasks automatically and begrudgingly.
Have you been thinking that meditation or mindfulness might work for you, but you just can't carve out the time to sit down and do it? Why not give mindful activity a try? This might be just the mindful practice for busy people. See how it feels to just focus on brushing your teeth, or sweeping the floor, or any of those mundane things we do every day. Start with focusing on one stroke at a time, or washing one dish at a time, one moment at a time, and don't worry about the next until you're there. And if you lose focus, just bring yourself back to the now, let go of those new thoughts that came in, and try again. Imagine all those negative thoughts we can save ourselves from thinking if we learn how to just be here now. That in an of itself, is a spiritual practice. So the answer to the question is: yes, doing the dishes can be a spiritual practice!
And so it is.