You know that feeling before your vacation is about to start - that giddy, excited, carefree feeling that comes with knowing you have a whole long weekend, or week, or however long, to relax, forget about work, read a book or do something fun you've been planning for a while? Or what about that dreaded feeling of going back to work after vacation, not knowing when your next trip will be, or planning to hunker down, put in your time and just wait until you have enough banked time and money accumulated to do it all over again?
What if I told you, you could have the same feeling Every. Damn. Week.?! No extra vacation time or money needed. The secret is simple: one planned rest-day every week. It's a game changer.
In my concussion-recovery journey, I've come to learn that I just simply cannot tackle life the same way I did four months ago, nor do I want to, actually. I've learned that my body and brain need rest, and the more I push myself, the more fatigued, irritable and symptomatic I get. This resulted in two additional hits to the head that really put me out of commission. I really had to learn the hard way that muscling through a head injury was not going to do me any good. And the only thing that was going to help me, was not only to just learn to, but to embrace, rest. After a particularly hard and tearful week following my last head impact, I realized that I had not been treating my own recovery the way that I would recommend my clients to recover, and I needed to follow my own advice for once. I needed to be gentler and more compassionate with myself, to treat my body better, to stop pushing and to start learning new ways.
I always liked the idea of a sabbath, even though I'm not religious. The idea of one entire day of rest, relaxation and non-work just felt so magical - no shopping, no socializing, no housework, no social media - it felt like a quiet day at the lake, a calm day on a tropical beach, a lazy day exploring a new city, or a sacred day meditating in nature, all things that are healing for my soul. I had heard of it done in conjunction with an unplugged day, a day of no screen time or intake of outside information, but I always thought it wasn't possible for me with my busy life, until my busy life made me stop and rest without exception. So I thought, if I've got to do it, I might as well do it right, and try to follow those rules in order to get in a complete recharge, heal my brain, and hopefully change my life for the better. So I did it. I sat down with my husband and explained to him the rules: I'm going to pick one day each week for rest; I'm going to unplug my cellphone; I'm not doing any house work or shopping with the exception of making a simple meal and cleaning up afterwards; I'm not doing any socializing or entertaining; you can join me or you can do other things (like cleaning the garage), but please don't expect me to do them with you. We figured out how that would look, including picking the day based on what's planned for that week and changing our approach for housework, groceries and laundry. I needed to do some evaluating and re-adjusting along the way to make it work for our household and my needs.
What I learned was that a rest day is completely possible. I've learned that if I'm well-prepared for the day, I come to look forward to it with giddy excitement, just like I would a vacation. I've learned that it feels better if I'm outside, if I'm not wearing my watch and if my cellphone is completely put away - no exceptions! I've realized that if it's executed according to plan, that one day feels like a miracle. I'm recharged, happy and completely relaxed, and I didn't even need to leave town to do it!
I've always wanted to live my life feeling like everyday was a Friday, or everyday was a vacation day. However, with work, mortgage and other adult responsibilities, I quickly learned that would be hard for me to do. So like most people, I settled into looking forward to Fridays and the one time a year we do a big trip, with some moderate excitement over other times when we did less significant things. But here's the thing about that: why should we sacrifice that feeling of freedom and ease 48 or 49 weeks out of the year just for a few short weeks of adventure? Shouldn't we try to practice loving our lives and living for the now 52 weeks out of the year?
Yeah, but that's impossible right? Work pays the bills, the bills keep the roof over our head, our families are busy, busyness equals productivity, busyness is better than boredom, busy, busy busy ........
I'm guilty of being over-scheduled and glorifying busy. Heck, not that long ago I had 5 active jobs at once. Right now I'm down to 3. Yesterday I had a taste of that old life, and you know what? I was exhausted and unhappy with how my day unfolded. It was too busy.
So back to my questions: no, we should not sacrifice feelings of freedom 49 weeks of the year; yes, we should practice loving our lives and living for the now every week. And no, it's not impossible. How we do these things is simple: we make an intentional plan to prioritize rest and self-care un-apologetically; we plan for it on a daily basis in small bursts, and we plan for it over big chunks on a weekly basis. And just like that, we make it happen!
If a rest day sounds boring to you, it doesn't have to be! Plan doing something that feels good for your soul. If socializing lights your fire, then make your rest day a social one. If reading recharges you, then read a book. If exercise is what gets you going, plan something active. But also practice being mindful, embrace rest, deal with being bored, don't rigidly schedule your day, and allow for it to unfold just as you need it to. Your brain, mind, body and soul will thank you. It's like a built-in vacation Every. Damn. Week! And that is how you rest, get refreshed and feel your best for the week ahead.
And so it is.