Hi friends, happy back to school week!
I always feel like September feels more like a new year than the actual New Year. It feels like things really change - the weather is changing, people are going back to work and back to school; there’s a feeling of transition and seriousness in the air. For me, I’m finishing my last full work week at my current job and gearing up to start my new job next week. I’m hosting a Pop Up event here in London to promote my new Socacize fitness class next weekend, then will be launching my own classes starting Saturday, September 14th. It feels like back to school for me too!
With all this excitement and change coming my way, I’ve really been reflecting about how I’ve been feeling in my life. To sum it up, the word unengaged comes to mind. I went from being this busy, active person, working a few jobs, trying to hustle to promote my life coaching bizz, working, playing soccer, going to Zumba religiously, and getting to the gym a few times a week, to being a non-busy homebody post concussion. There was a period of transition where I fought slowing down, but eventually knew that slowing down would be essential to my healing. I stopped the hard daily grind. All I had in me was enough energy to get through the workday; I’d come home with an excruciating headache, neck ache, and vocal chord fatigue, and just lie on the couch all evening. On weekends I took a whole day off just to rest, because that’s what I needed to get me through the next work week. Luckily for me, I kept at all my therapies and tried some new modalities which really started to help. Since January, I’ve slowly been increasing my fitness program and socializing.
But the reality is that I have not felt engaged in my life since that time. I would go to work, and you’ll know if you read my last blog post, that I have been understimulated and unengaged there for a very long time. I’d have days where I would be at my desk the entire day, without working with one client. I would waste that entire day just mindlessly scrolling on my phone. While I had things I could be doing, I wouldn’t do them, because I didn’t have the drive, and I had an endless amount of time. Some days would be so boring that I would even talk myself out of going to the gym at lunch so that I could leave earlier, even though I know that it would make more sense for me to go to the gym and feel better. I’d come home, and feeling exhausted from my doing nothing all day, be so uninspired to do anything at home.
I started to notice that I no longer had my drive to wake up early and take Maple for a nice walk before work. I felt lethargic all day, and went up to 2 coffees every single day. Because I had SO much time on my hands (I don’t work Mondays), I started procrastinating, because anything I had to do, could be done later. I realized that on my ‘rest days’ I was just escaping even more into my phone, and on my ‘days off,’ I’d typically book appointments, but couldn’t bring myself to do anything worthwhile between appointments. I couldn’t keep up with blogging every Monday, because I just felt like I had nothing to say (hello blogging dry spell between about February-July). Some months, I didn’t even write one blog post. People would ask me how my coaching business is going and I would bluntly reply, “well it’s not, really.”
There is a zone between overengaged and underengaged that is the sweet spot. It is just enough free time to rest and be, but busy enough to keep the momentum going day to day. I am trying really hard to not add in so many things at once, that I become that overengaged person I was before. With the start of my new adventures, working 5 days a week at a job that will actually have work for me, launching Socacize, and all the prep that comes along with these things, I’m really hoping to find that sweet spot.
Even with the hint of change coming my way in my own metaphorical back to school season, I do feel of late that I already have more pep in my step. My conversations are more animated, I’m doing more, I’m making better use of my time, and I’m not feeling the pull to escape into my phone. I finally feel like I found my groove in Socacize. I’m so excited to roll out these classes and build the Socacize community here in London. It feels great to have blogging ideas again. Believe it or not, I also think bumping up to working 5 days a week will be good for me at this point in my life. It’ll allow me a larger pacheque - bonus! - and keep my week structured in a way that I probably need. I’m really looking forward to this change too, being able to work in a home-based office and planning my own schedule to go out and see my clients.
It’s true life has it’s ebbs and flows. Looks like for me, I’m coming out of an ebb and into a flow, and working really hard to just float with it rather than dive into the rapids or get stuck in a stagnant pool!
And so it is.
If you are in the London, Ontario area and would like to try out a Socacize class, see my events page for info on how to join.
If you’re looking for some strategies on finding your sweet spot, contact me to see how we can work together.
Because together, we rise.