Have you ever watched children as they move through the world? They have so much joy and are always finding ways to maximize their fun. Whether it’s hopping all the way to the bus stop, playing their favourite games or giggling and laughing with excitement, kids really have no issues when it comes to freely having a good time. Usually if a child is emotional or having a meltdown, it’s because they’ve had too much fun (think being over-tired from a birthday party), because a parent is removing their fun (bedtime anyone?), or someone is keeping them from their fun (“but I really neeeeeeed this toy!”).
From my observations, we seem to have lost the skill of pursuing fun as adults. As we finish up high school and prepare for adulting, we might be working to save for university, studying hard to get accepted into a program, or preparing to go right into work. Once post-secondary happens, our focus becomes all about studying, passing, writing exams, and doing well, all while we are accumulating debt to pay for that education. If we are lucky we might carry over some of our childhood hobbies into our extra-curriculars in university, but most people let those hobbies go due to lack of time, finances or accessibility. Whether we go to work right out of school or after college, university or graduate school, a new career comes with new responsibilities: we budget to pay off debts, to pay for transportation, rent/mortgage, groceries, utilities, families, etc. We become stressed and worry about how we are performing at our jobs, supporting ourselves financially, and managing our relationships. We might be planning weddings, having children, or buying homes or cars. We begin to focus on all the externals to a point where we just simply forget about enjoying ourselves regularly as the rule rather than the exception. Through running this rat race, we have forgotten how to have fun!
Many of the adults I know don’t have hobbies or things they do regularly that they enjoy. I hear individuals talking about wanting to start taking care of themselves, but only once the conditions are absolutely perfect for it. What they don’t realize is that the conditions will never be perfect, and even in perfect conditions, it’s easier to talk ourselves out of something than it is to talk ourselves into something.
Many people might feel they don’t have time to do something fun. I think that sometimes we have to give up our feelings of perfection and allow someone to help us so that we can take care of ourselves. I also think that the more we go on complaining about what we don’t have, what conditions are not aligned for us to do the things we want to do, and what are friends are or are not doing, the less time we have to actually do something we enjoy. Think about all the time we waste in a day or in a week, doing things like mindless eating, unnecessary shopping, scrolling on social media, or binge watching TV shows, when we could be walking away from those things and just doing something simple and enjoyable for the pure sake of enjoying the activity. There are ways to make it work: excuses are only excuses.
Fun means different things to different people. It doesn’t have to be adventurous, but it does have to be enjoyable and meaningful. That means saying no to things that are not enjoyable and saying yes to forming new habits of doing just one thing for ourselves that we enjoy. While it’s often easier to live our lives on autopilot, worrying or complaining instead of doing anything differently, it is so worth it to make an adjustment to our lives in an intentional, authentic way. Theories in occupational therapy state that a person must feel engaged in a meaningful occupation in areas of self-care, productivity and leisure to live a meaningful life. So finding a meaningful leisure occupation is a valuable use of our time!
I have a simple challenge for you today, and the challenge is this: carve out some time in your day, every day, to do something you enjoy. If you don’t know what that is, do an experiment and try something. You might be surprised with what you learn, and more importantly, how you feel!
And so it is.
If you are having troubles with pursuing fun or maintaining hobbies, and you need a little extra help, please contact me to see how we can work together to get you back on the fun ship!
Because together, we rise.