Allow me to explain why I’ve been off the grid for a couple of weeks. In my last blog post, I was feeling so motivated, so inspired, so ready to rise. But then, it happened: the inevitable setback. In the matter of a few hours, I felt my energy and spirit go spiraling downwards, feeling more ready to hide than rise. What happened? It was nothing surprising, really.
As many of my readers know, I’ve been struggling with post-concussion syndrome after a sports injury on April 15th. Finally, after 5 months, I experienced a normal day, and it felt amazing. I felt the fog lifting and new-found energy propelling me into old healthful habits that I had been unable to focus on or engage in since my injury. I was back in the gym on modified workouts, making progress with my coaching business and doing well in my day job. On a routine trip to the sports physiotherapist, we saw that my symptom score had dropped dramatically. At that point, we changed the program. We worked hard. We did new and difficult exercises for my brain, eyes, neck and posture. And it figuratively killed me. Within one hour the headache started, and it persisted for another week. Symptoms that had been gone for a while returned. My energy levels plummeted, my spark dwindled and I felt myself becoming frustrated, sad and tired. I spoke with some of my supports who have been through similar experiences and I heard one common theme: the recovery process is never linear; it’s always up and down; you’ll feel like you’re taking two steps forward and one step back for a long while.
So I did what I’ve known to help in the past: I rested. I waited patiently. I complained about my frustrations. Gradually, the fog started lifting again, but not to where it had been before. I found myself feeling good enough to get back into some of those good, healthful habits like sticking to a sleep schedule, doing modified workouts, walking twice a day, reading and practicing mindfulness. But this time there was a new shift: while I physically and mentally was capable of doing those things, something inside me felt paralyzed from actually doing them.
I realized that setbacks paralyze me. The constant up-and-down process of recovery has caused the downs to feel really difficult to climb back out of. It feels like every time I start to feel better, after some time, I inevitably start going backwards. Each time I climb myself out of that low point, it feels like I’m starting over. Starting over can be really difficult; even just thinking about starting over is exhausting. Imagine your first day back to the gym after months or years of inactivity. Well that’s what it feels like for me, every time I have a setback and have to start again. It takes a lot of mental strength, physical energy and spiritual trust to get back to it. Sometimes I feel like it’s comfortable just to be, not to try and just to rest and accept. However, at my core, that’s not who I am.
Bouncing back is the art of resilience. That’s who I am; I’m an artist. I never rest and accept for too long; I always go back to the bottom of that valley and resiliently start walking the path up the mountain. In my reflection I realized that these setbacks are, in fact, inevitable. Life is in a constant flux; the one constant thing in life is change. Like the weather and the seasons, we have storms and we have sunshine; it’s to be expected. So why do we act as if the setbacks are so shocking? Why do we let them paralyze us? Why don’t we just plan for them, think Hello, my old friend, I’ve been expecting you. I trust you’re here to teach me another lesson? and move on? Onward and upwards, even if we’re at the bottom of the proverbial mountain. As a natural organizer, planning for resilience sounds so much better than being hit in the head by a setback, paralyzed by fear to move forward then painfully accepting it’s time to be resilient, stop whining and put one foot in front of the other.
Here’s a tip about resilience: we should expect the setback as the rule and not the exception. We should also have a contingency plan in place for when the setbacks happen. For example, having an emergency savings account for that emergency that’s going to happen at some point in life, or freezing extra food for the inevitable day we’re not feeling like cooking but know we really wouldn’t benefit from ordering take out.
Here’s a tip about not being paralyzed by setbacks: we should stick to a basic routine no matter how we feel. Feel terrible? Go to the gym anyway and do some basic stretching. No energy? Walk for 10 minutes, or 5 or 2. Feeling too anxious to meditate? Take one deep breath. Something is better than nothing so Just. Do. Something!
When we plan for it, starting over doesn’t really feel like starting over, and the setbacks might not feel so horrible. So this week, I’m starting over, but this time I’m planning for success as well as setbacks, and I’m planning to be resilient, because that is who I am.
And so it is.
If you’d like some help starting over, planning for setbacks or implementing healthful habits, please contact me to set up your 1:1 coaching, because together, we rise.