Once upon a time (and sometimes now still), I subscribed to the all-or-nothing thought pattern. This is when either you do it all and you do it right, or you don’t do anything at all. I learned from running anxiety management groups and using cognitive behavioural therapy in my work as an occupational therapist, that all-or-nothing thinking is actually one of the common negative thinking traps that can have negative effects in behaviours and emotions. I’ve been working hard to combat this in myself, because I see how much of a negative impact it can have.
For example, in the past, if I didn’t have a full 90 minutes or more to get to the gym to do a real workout, I wouldn’t go at all. Or if I was injured or not feeling well, I would skip the gym entirely, rather than go and do a half-assed workout. Even now, when I’ve been following my dietary restrictions and eating clean, if I treat myself with one thing I’m not supposed to have, I’ll think f*** it, I’ve already messed it up, I might as well cheat some more. This always turns out to be a terrible choice because I’ll pay for it physically for several days or more, leading to a downward f***-it cycle.
I’ve met people in my coaching practice who have told me that when they’re good, they stick to their goals 100%, but when they’re not, they can’t get on top of good habits no matter how hard they try. As you can see above, I totally get it; this is all or nothing thinking at its finest. If this is something that happens to you, I challenge you to reflect upon your life. In a typical year, do you find yourself sticking to your goals more often or falling off the wagon and trying to get back on most of the time? If you are constantly trying to get back on the wagon, the majority of your life is spent doing nothing, and a small percent is spent doing all, and in the long run, you are not actually making any healthful progress.
Enter the something-is-better than nothing approach. This is more like the Plan B, where Plan A suddenly becomes unattainable, or the conditions aren’t in place to be able to follow through 100 per cent. Plan B would mean doing something, anything, towards your goal so you still feel like you’re working on it. The best part about the Plan B approach is that it allows us to stay in the habit of doing many of those healthy things we did in Plan A, when everything was perfect and we were following it along without issues. So you had a bite of cheesecake and you’re technically not allowed to eat dairy, eggs or wheat? Have some fruit instead of the rest of that piece of cheesecake. So you are sick, injured, tired and can’t do your full workout? Get to the gym and stretch or walk on the treadmill. You haven’t meditated in a month? Take two deep breaths. Something is better than nothing.
Most recently, I’ve been trying to build up my gym habit again. Due to a series of sports injuries and ongoing symptoms over the past year, I have not been able to get back regularly and really see myself progressing. I have had many opportunities to go to the gym, to yoga, or to my home gym, and work on something, but I chose not to, because I didn’t feel those workouts would be valuable enough. After months of inactivity, I set the intention to increase my activity levels and I did something I’ve never done before: I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill. It was so simple and basic, but it built the habit. I found myself feeling really great, even by just going to the gym and walking on the treadmill. Then I started adding in my physio exercises and a good stretch. Then the treadmill became the elliptical, and without even planning it, some of my old high intensity workouts crept their way back in, once the habit was there and I slowly worked on building up my own strength. Now I’m totally sold on the something-is-better-than-nothing approach.
Our lives are never in the perfect condition to meet all of our goals, so why should we expect perfection? And worst of all, why should we only do the opposite of perfection, if we can’t be perfect? It doesn’t make sense. We need to embrace the grey zone and find a way to be satisfied with Plan B.
And so it is.
If you need some accountability or assistance in generating and working towards your goals, or coming up with a Plan B, please contact me to see how I can help.
Because together, we rise.